If pictures could talk, they would say:
(Names have been changed to protect the innocent)
"I'm not even kidding you Eunice, there really is an alligator in the hotel pool. If you don't believe me, go look at the pool boys legs...or should I say leg!?...and just think of all those little kids down there with the birthday party....You did say you were the Crocodile Hunter, correct?"
"Seriously, they told you that ...when I bought my sewing machine it didn't come with the adaptors for making it into a rocket booster, weed whacker or foot message...."
"OK, now look closely cause I'm only gonna show you once....when you put the toilet paper on the roll, the end comes over the top like so...NEVER under...always over the top! If everyone put the end under the roll it would seriously mess with the whole gravitational pull of our universe and eventually we would all need space suits!"
*gasps* "Hilda, you should never have put your little packet of plutonium in the glove box with the non-dairy creamer packets...you know Frank is a distracted driver and was too busy texting in his vote to Dancing with the Stars and driving when he was trying to doctor his coffee..."
"All you need is a piece of industrial strength dental floss, some tacky glue, roll of duct tape (pick on the matches the fabric though), a rubber band, 30 ml distilled spring water from Norway (not Sweeden, Denmark or California) and some cream soup. Bake at 350 deg for 40 min and bazinga, you have a casserole."
"Say Bertha, how come you never listen to me...I told you the neo-tropical song birds were migrating South today and you have me in here just holding this piece of cloth you're gonna add to that blanket....you better believe you're buyin the calamari and chocolate souffle for supper tonight...and I'm ordering a cosmopolitan too...so there!"
"and that my Friends is how I became the fastest draw in the west"
"So...there are enough blood vessels in the human body to go around the world how many times?"